From the remnants of my drafts folder: I give you my Murtaugh List for my 20s, inspired by How I Met Your Mother. Whenever I write about topics I suspect others have covered I do some quick googling to see what’s already out there and what I’d like to add to the conversation. In my list I’ve included (and cited of course!) two items from Thought Catalog’s 19 things to stop doing in your 20s by Brandon Gorrell, a list that has some great moments but is otherwise vague and cheesy (ex. “Stop being afraid,” yeah okay that’s not really age specific and its too abstract to be possible).
Anyway, here’s my list and I’m guilty of a few of these myself:
If you’re in your 20s you’re too old to…
1. have your parents do your laundry.
As much as we like to put it off, laundry is a simple task (especially if your have an in building washer/dryer). It’s not like you have to take your laundry down to the river and bust out the ol’ washboard. Throw it in the machine yourself.
2. be overly emotional on social media (ex. writing a paragraph long status bitching about work/school or posting something emo).
We all have low moments. We get caught up in our emotions, we get needy, and sometimes we just need our friends to throw us some positive vibes or assurance. Or, sometimes we just need someone to bitch to. But please, write it in a notebook, call a friend, or anything that isn’t you shouting into the abyss of the internet. It’s embarrassing and I think it’s something we’ve all been guilty of a few times. Myself included.
3. complain about your parents.
LET IT GO. That’s just how they are and your childhood is over. LET IT GO.
4. not know how to drive
Guilty, guilty, guilty. I’m a city girl with anxiety so I refuse to get behind the wheel. Of course, I’m going to need a car to grocery shop, get furniture, and (possibly down the line) drive my kids around. There’s no avoiding driving. And the convenience is too much to pass up. I’m definitely going
5. saying how bored you are.
At our age we have plenty of responsibilities and independence. Surely you can find something you need to do or want to do.
6. skip out on holiday presents
Now that I’m old enough to order a beer at a restaurant, I am clearly to old to sit by the tree and have no gifts to pass out. I don’t have a lot of finances at this point (as many people my age lack) but we have 11 months to come up with something so…
7. need help on your FAFSA or other government documents
Documents scare and confuse me (you need the T-1what-form?). But this is something I need to work on. When I start a career I’ll have to sort through credit card offers, pay my loans, pick a health plan, and do taxes. My dad really shouldn’t HAVE to be by my side for any of that.
8. not know how to cook
Self explanatory and yet another thing I cannot do.
“9. b[e] stingy. If you really care about something, spend your money on it. There is often a notion that you are saving for something. Either clarify what that thing is or start spending your money on things that are important to you. Spend money on road trips. Spend money on healthy food. Spend money on opportunities. Spend money on things you’ll keep.”
“10. b[e] lazy by being constantly “busy.” It’s easy to be busy. It justifies never having enough time to clean, cook for yourself, go out with friends, meet new people. Realize that every time you give in to your ‘busyness,’ it’s you who’s making the decision, not the demands of your job”
Growing up is scary. Next fall, I’ll be off my meal plan and will need to cook for myself (I know that’s basic but it’s something I’ve never had to do for a sustained period of time). Summer 2016, I’ll be exiting college and entering unemployment/the unknown…
This list may have seemed old lady-esque but I think it’s important that we acknowledge how time changes things. It helps me appreciate where I am but also prepare for what’s to come. I’m reminded that these are the last of my college years. And even though I’m tightly wound, focussed on producing my best work, I’m constantly trying to say “Yes” more. To go to that campus event, to say yes to my friends’s invites, to say yes to watching that movie or playing that game.
One of the truest things I know is that nothing exists in a vacuum. I am here to get my degree. But its the place and the people that makes me love/survive that process. My professors and peers inspire me. My family and friends support me. I wouldn’t have finished that paper without my suitemate Justin coming up to me to say “you’re doing great!.” I wouldn’t have come up with my speech topic without my brother to bounce ideas off. I wouldn’t be so passionate about my orgs without members who put in effort. I wouldn’t be writing this blog post without my friend, Laurel agreeing to have a brunch-then-blog date with me.
I am so thankful for now.
And yes, there are things I am leaving behind as I grow older but there’s so much I’m embarking on in the process. So in honor of Murtaugh, here’s to some new shit.