Ideal Janet is who I am in my dream world. She’s a well rounded, educated, athletic, organized, compassionate, fun, overachiever. Ideal Me gets through at least 1 book a month (for fun), for more casual reading she enjoys EDU articles and several blogs. She works out 4-5 times a week and does yoga everyday. Ideal Me never forgets to take her multivitamin and when it’s time to go out she knows exactly where everything is and gets it all at once. She unwinds by finishing videogame after videogame that is, when she’s not going to one of the campus’s many events. Ideal Me orders a lot less pizza and is never late for a meeting. She listens to more jazz and doesn’t have to wash anything before snacking because the dishes were done a long time ago. Ideal Me writes more poetry, she goes to more open mics and is probably working on a chapbook. She is so many things but above all, she’s not real. And she probably never will be–at least, not all at once or all the time.
When I think of all the things I want to do 2 things become clear: 1. there aren’t enough hours in the day 2. If I did everything on that list, all the time, I would die. So I’ve learned to compromise and enjoy the small victories. Some days there are dishes in the sink but I’ve managed to get ahead on my homework and play some videogames. To make all my goals seem less daunting I’ve decided to take things by week instead of by day ex. this week I will play 3 hours of videogames, this week I will read 30 pages of a novel.
Lately, I’ve been slacking on a few of my new year’s resolutions, but that doesn’t mean they’re already “ruined”. I have to remind myself that it’s not about reaching perfection, it’s about striving for it. Even if that means living in Ideal Me’s shadow.