As my older sibling, and unofficial parent, my brother doesn’t hesitate to criticize me. This summer, his main critique has been my 2 out-of-school extremes: doing too much and doing nothing. Most of my summer has been packed to the brim: reading, blogging, boxing, running, volunteering (often with multiple time commitments in one day). I have slept in less than a dozen times this summer. With only 2 weeks left of the summer, things have calmed down: no more time commitments, I’ve (semi-inadvertantly) slacked on my recreation reading this week, I’ve been sleeping in, and (with no syllabus out) I’m basically just waiting for school to start.
Having a Type A personality has left me displeased with my idleness. It’s an interesting dichotomy: on one hand, college is starting soon so, for future Janet’s sake, it seems appropriate that I bask in the unproductive sun she will so desperately long for. On the other hand, it seems like each day is just passing me by and it’s a little pathetic. I spend the bulk of the day dawdling, watching a few episodes of Seinfeld, and eating.
As I sulked around the house, looking for more food and refreshing twitter every few minutes, my brother decided to enlighten me. He said: “you’re literally not doing anything [that’s why you feel so bleh]”. He pointed out that I need to have constructive laziness. This isn’t something I know much about. The closest I’ve gotten to constructive laziness is productive procrastination (which is when you do various activities, ex. exercising, cooking, cleaning, writing, going to meetings, doing laundry etc, that society would approve of as productive but that really just allow you to avoid your homework without feeling guilty about it).
Constructive laziness means rather than dicking around on the internet and napping when you’re really not even that tired (two things I’ve done a lot of), you actively decide to relax: maybe it’s a movie marathon or a videogames/junkfood binge or you watch a new TV series on netflix. So instead of feeling like I wasted the day looking up outfits on pinterest that I will probably never buy, I can have a relaxing day of watching a good portion of the Samurai Jack series or I can finally finish knitting that scarf-ish thing I started in May. Both of which I think I’ll do today.
Because it’s summer and I can. But more importantly, because college is starting soon… and then I can’t.
So that’s how I’m going to spend the next 2 weeks. I’ll still blog, write, and read but I won’t *obsess over it (*definitely still running though). That’s one of my problems: I’m addicted to setting goals, to writing lists and crossing things off them. But I have 8 blocks to indulge myself in that very “Type A” addiction and, with how much I have going on this year, I’m gonna need to. For now, it makes more sense to be constructively lazy. And hopefully, all this relaxation will give me some fond memories to look back on when it’s so late, it’s early, and I’m freezing on the walk back from Law Hall to my dorm, enjoying the sunrise as I try to calculate how long I can “sleep” without running late for class.